Hello,

So as our lives are changing every single day and it's never going to be the same again
I've decided to write down things I have done recently here. 
Even if it will be a bit too personal to put it on here, but who cares anyway? 

I have just recovered from the worst sickness I ever had in my life, a dengue fever. 
I stayed 6 days in a hospital, no showers, no washing hair, no tv, no dogs, 
no animals, no work and no entertainment at all. Some of my good friends 
and colleagues came visited me and I was so so happy to see them, 
glad I was, and always happy and that I have the best family who are 
always by my side, especially my mom, she's the best and everyone was
just so cool to me. 

I also lost so much weight, I'm glad and wish I'd never gain much after this. 
Today was the first day I came back to work and almost all colleagues 
who saw me they said  "WOW, you've lost so much weight!" I was glad, 
and also puzzling because I was wearing all black dress that always 
makes me look more thin, so, idk. But I indeed lost some weight.

Other news is I went to a funeral again today. Not the same person, 
but this year is kind of sad year that so many of my friend's families 
has passed. Maybe it's a period of time, maybe it's "the fall" if you know 
what I mean. One conversation I had with my friend's aunt about her 
mother's death is "she didn't want to go.. but.." then it made me very sad, 
because I've just realized again that NOBODY IS READY TO GO, 
NOBODY IS READY TO DIE you know, NO ONE. it's just sad that 
sometimes you can't choose, even if you want to live more..

This made me think of Laleh's songs, Some Die Young, 
En Stund Pa Jorden, and Varens Forsta Dag,
always sings about death, life and the truth... I don't know 
what to think about when I go to funeral, all is empty, and all is full... 
but all gone to somewhere new anyway

Another crazy news is I am thinking about going to Sweden again 
next Summer, the reason is because Laleh has announced on her pages 
that she's throwing a tour concert in Summer and it's my challenge to be in 
a damn front row (or at least not as far as the 8th row that I was in the 
Kristaller concert in Vasteras) so, going to Sweden or not, I'm going to buy 
a damn concert ticket anyway (though that means a commitment, that I will 
have to go after that because I couldn't stand losing or selling ticket out 
to somewhere else anyway) It's so crazy that someone would travel far 
like 8,000 miles just to see one person, isn't it crazy? 

but if it makes you happy why not doing it? (if you have money ofc) 
I even questioned myself do I love Laleh that much? 
do I love her like I said to her in Vasteras? 
but why questioning when she is one of my inspirations, 
one of those people who gave me much of an idea to create new things, 
yes, 
if it makes you move so it means something to you..

I am so tired, I will think more of what to write here, 
I don't want it to be like a dear diary like this every posts...

Nothing is more important than to be yourself,
God natt my love...

MMM
the influencer

to all the stars tonight, every night..